New Telegraph

Coping with grief (1)

Losing a loved one can cause irreparable damage to the survivor when necessary precautions are not put in place. There has been lots of bad news lately that everyone seems to be just hanging in there. So, I thought to give a few tips which are by no means exhaustive but sure may help someone mourning or those helping a friend or close relation who is mourning. After all, understanding grief and how to cope with it will inform the type of support to be given at the right time. Grief is an intense emotional and physical reaction experienced after the loss of a loved one. Although, it is easier to have a time frame for mourning, the same cannot be said of grieving. This is so because of the peculiar nature of the emotion called grief, which is mostly internal, whereby mourning which is an action is external. This, sometimes, is the reason it takes people longer time than others to stop grieving. However, the four under-listed steps may help in coping with grief with the hope of reducing its time frame and negative impacts:

Acknowledge and accept the feeling

Grief being an undesired emotion can be acknowledged and accepted by talking to someone or people about the loss as it helps to externalise such feelings. Moreover, this in a way helps share the burden that comes along with mourning which prompts empathy and strong support that cannot be over-emphasised. Listing out what the loss means can also help confront fears experienced hence bringing clarity with informed steps in the right direction. Saying goodbye which is a way of paying last respect to the deceased can be done in form of funeral rites or burial. This helps with a certain level of closure which is key to reflections. Replace negatives with positives Filling up the void left by the dead with adequate and positive activities will go a long way in coping with grief. Moving on to new things by changing environment, job or avoiding routines especially those that involved you and the deceased for so long may also help. A vacation may be very useful too. Refocusing the anger positively by channelling it into creativity such as dance, writing, music, art, gardening or even sports is another useful way of turning negatives to positives. Celebrating the life of the deceased by deliberately remembering only the good life the deceased lived or the great moments shared can sure bring smiles to faces.

A call to action

Dealing with grief isn’t easy even when you know what to do. So, if you ever need someone to talk to, we are only a call, text, or click away. Contact:+234 8100371304; Email specialists@oplacewellness.com.

*Olayinka Opaleye, is of O’Place Wellness Centre, Block 9, Plot 8 Admiralty Road, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos, Nigeria.

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